Chain Of Rules Act VII

(To read Chain Of Rules Act IAct IIAct IIIAct IVAct V or Act VI)

As soon as my hand caressed the gentle slope of her ass cheek, Leigh knew she was going to be spanked.

Closing my eyes I can still see her the small of her back gracefully sliding into the curve of her backside. From the side the view is breathtaking. As much as I lose my mind when she places her shoulders flat and raises her hips, the lateral view of the female spine is, without question, geometric perfection. No other curve in nature even comes close.

We were made for each other. My hand reaches her sweet spot…

Oh, yeah. The sweet spot. Every woman has one, and not the one located under her clitoral hood or hiding inside her up under her pubic bone. No, each and every woman has a spot on her ass that, when struck, makes her eyes glaze over with thoughts of more. Each woman is different in this regard. For some its all over her ass. No matter where she’ll beam. Actually they want all over. Spanking in the same spot repeatedly is what heightens endorphin production.

Others want the fleshy mass struck. Some crave what is actually upper thigh, which really stings like a mother fucker. Not many seem to like the upper cheeks near the back, which is perfectly understandable as well as advisable. Never, I mean never, strike a submissive with any force or impact play there. Their kidneys thank you.

Leigh’s sweet spot is on the underside of each ass cheek, right above the crease where the thigh starts. That’s my target. I need to hit there repeatedly, accurately and often. If my hand strays I can tell by the sound. That’s also how I can tell if the force is right. Once I am dialed in muscle memory will allow me to spank each cheek in the exact same place a thousand or so times.

But, as I was saying, my hand reaches her sweet spot when she stands next to me. It’s a perfect fit. It’s easy on my shoulders and back, which is nice as well as convenient.

It means I can spank her longer.

Leigh arched backward into my hand, the cleft of her ass flaring open as an invitation to explore its secrets. By doing so her chest thrust outward in the opposing direction. The effect on her silhouette was …

“Fuckkkkkkk!” I exclaimed at the erotic perfection now at my mercy. The curvature of her spine was exaggerated to such a degree it took my breath away. Her full breasts provided a perfect counter to her round ass.

“My God baby you look fucking amazing” was my offering to her as my hands explored the gifts being presented. With a hand on her breast, another clutching her ass, my mouth inhaling her neck she was in heaven. As was I.

The next few minutes were spent in worship of my chained angel. I explored as much of her nude form as I could. No curve was left untouched, no part of her neck unlicked, no orifice unexplored. Except that damn belly button. Someday…

Nipples were gently tweeked, collar bones nibbled on, ass cheeks made to ripen with goosebumps. Her torso painted with feathery touches, the nape of her neck grazed upon, her cunt and asshole teased with fingertips.

The way my hand circled her ass cheek should have been a hint.

SMACK!

Leigh was so far into being touched that she purred at the introduction to being spanked. The ritual that we share as far as touch-spank-other cheek-repeat began. The room filled with smacking sounds, only broken by her sighs and deep breathing.

Yeah, she was into it.

The pinching of a nipple elicited a sharp breath. This was the first time I’d ever had the opportunity to abuse her breasts and ass simultaneously. Playing one off the other was exquisite, but no where as striking (bad spanking joke) as her reaction to one or the other, better yet both. I could feel her confusion at how to weather this dual front storm. Normally she could just focus on spanking or nipple play.

Now she had to do both at the same time. While chain bound.

The steady rhythm of smack smack smack smack escalated in frequency as I tried to bring her to a plateau. My other hand continued to work those already raw nipples over with more attention. Her breath grew ragged, her torso twisted in a sad attempt to evade my hand. That only made my spanking more likely to SMUCK instead of SMACK when she moved the target.

I take a lot of fucking pride in my ability to administer a good spanking. I do not take well to hearing SMUCK when its not my carelessness causing it.

“Hold still” I ordered. As much as I adore her squirms (she is a world class writher) they were beginning to piss me off mildly as far as all this SMUCKING.

Leigh exhaled with one of her “HhhhhhhmmmMMMM” pouts. I love that fucking sound. It says “I don’t wanna!!!……but I will.”

Yet again she found herself practicing self-bondage through forced posture. That made me smile.

Once properly posed it was easy to play her like a first seat would their cello. Now her noises were more from duress, her arousal from pain not pleasure. Again and again I took her ass and breasts through their respective paces. The smacks grew louder, harder, her nipples tugged on longer and tighter.

By the time her panting signaled she had reached a new level I backed off to allow her to acclimate to her new altitude. The aroma of female arousal filling the room made me content.

Content to finish her off in style by enjoying that wet cunt of hers.

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Interview With A Submission Vampire Vol.1 No.15

I’m reading about writing.

As a part of this week’s Selfish Sunday Leigh and I, once again, found ourselves at a Barnes & Noble. And I treated myself to a copy of Stephen King: On Writing (10th Anniversary edition…ooooh). From everything I have read on writing it’s considered a seminal tome on the genre. Only 30some pages into it but so far I have enjoyed it very much. A number of the passages made me smile, some laugh and a few mandated rereading out loud to my sexy chauffeur.

It’s no secret that all of this fingers on keyboard is extremely new to me. The words on TDND™ represent, by a verbal landslide, the most I have ever written. Period. Probably sometime in the upcoming month the word count on the blog may reach 200,000. No idea how that equates for any writer of any genre for twenty weeks. Leigh says that qualifies as “prolific.”

Its fun, and I feel as if I am becoming a better story shower (notice I didn’t say teller). And apparently a number of people think that my musings are good. I wish I had some way to quantify that, but truth be told I do not read nearly enough as I wish I did, or more accurately should. Leigh is voracious. She reads books like I drink coffee. And she is also 100x the writer I am. A parallel, perhaps?

In four weeks I have drawn a line in the sand as far as my first attempt at erotic fiction being available for purchase. Two weeks prior to that is the deadline for submission (that sounds like a naughty book title, doesn’t it?) for the Avon Impulse New Year’s Eve anthologies of novella length. And I want to be included.

Sounds like my weekly word count is about to go way up. It needs to. It has to. And it will. But not at the expense of Peeker™ Nation. The stories, musings, poetry will all continue. They need to. They have to. And they will.

I’m looking forward to listening to the voices (no, not like that….well, a little) as the characters talk to me when I shift from first person past non-fiction to the same but fictional for my ePub and, deep breath, third person. We’ll see if the words still flow.

But enough about me. Now for something about me. Avid Peeker™ Ms. D of Deviant Diaries wanted to know, in regards to what happened the days following Breaking Leigh:

“Its kind of like when you go to some really great spiritual retreat (kind of an oxymoron in my book)…where everybody sits around spilling their guts and cries over every wound they’ve ever had and swore they were going to go back to their “regular lives” a changed person and with a fresh perspective, and then in like a week….it’s all like a lost dream. Does your experience have any residuals like that?”

In a way, yes.

What goes up (stop smirking) must come down. Just because Leigh and I shared something amazing that pushed both of our BDSM and D/s boundaries to new heights via broken plateaus does not mean we have now set up base camp at that new altitude and live there. Nor did it become a life-changing moment with the light of the next morning. Or the one that followed that.

Are things different? Yes. Leigh was curious if she could be pushed that far, if she was capable of tears from just spanking. I, on the other hand (bad spanking joke) knew that she was. But conveying that belief pails to its being administered one spank at a time. And then there was the whole issue of the act itself. Was I capable of the administration of what it would take to get her to where I knew she could go but she did not? The physical was the easy part for both of us. It was the mental and spiritual part that proved to be the Rubicon we needed to cross from opposite banks.

And we did.

So we accomplished it. Together. I didn’t so much as work at beating the tears out of her as much as work with her to help her release them. Big difference. Big fucking difference.

Now, in its wake are we better people? I’d like to think so. But it’s not as if we were reborn. Food didn’t suddenly taste all that better, but we do spend a lot more time in the kitchen laughing, cooking and sharing. That tastes good. The air we breath is not mountain top clean overnight, but there is less fog between us as well as more words, and laughter. The exercise we now do together helps that. Time does not stand still, but the moments last longer and are more frequent. Outside forces no longer run the clock hands.

So no, the dream moment does not a new dream life make. Very few things would have such an immediate and dramatic impact. But we do dream more often, and not in the ways one might stereotypically think from a couple in a specified D/s relationship that employs BDSM.

No, the dreams born from that evening are small ones, day dreams if you will. And they have faded with time, but more from wear than distance. Day to day we are better. Nothing bordering on religious awakening, but rather small prayers said at the most unobvious and innocent of times.

That is a dream worth living.

Scot

Someone Shared Our Secret

And it wasn’t me.

What?

Since we are talking about secrets, I do not make it one that of all I write my poetry is the most special to me. It’s not that I don’t enjoy the stories or the musings, but the poems are about, for and meant for an audience of one.

My Leigh.

So when others appreciate my very neophyte (I am extremely new to any form of writing) prose it heartens me. And if they deem it worthy to feature it in their own digital publishing? Well, that is humbling.

I know, I know, I know. I use the “h’ word a lot. But it’s true.

So when I found out that Athame Morrigan thought that my poem Our Secret was good enough to be featured in the latest issue of her ePaper The Switch Daily I was extremely H Word™.

So imagine how I felt when I discovered that she is also a professional Domme AND Switch! That’s right. She gets paid to play.

I’m very glad I tidied up around the blog before going to bed last night and didn’t leave any unwashed posts in the sink. Whew, that was close!

Thank you Miss Athame.

– Scot

Chain Of Rules Act VI

(To read Chain Of Rules Act IAct IIAct III,  Act IV or Act V)

She had to hold very still, lest the finger flogging her nipple catch the skin of her upper breast, which would really fucking hurt, and not in the good way.

I know, its bad enough that I cuffed and chained her standing like that, defenseless to my perverted means and inclinations. As if that wasn’t enough restraint, now Leigh was forced to administer the same to herself, but from within.

It was all part of the mind fuck, and she hates to admit that she loves when the space between ears becomes more engorged with lust than the space between her thighs. But its true. When I push the envelope on a mental, spiritual and verbal level she practically soaks herself.

So, after that excruciating flick that made her scream I…

…what’s that? No, I did not continue to do that repeatedly. Once was enough to not just excite but drive her to Franticville. It’s not the what you do, but the how. Not how many, but when. Not when you do but when you don’t. This is what kept her sharp, focused, alert and constantly on edge.

Sure, I could just have just reared back and repeatedly flicked her nipples raw, which would have allowed her to focus all her energy on one tiny aspect of our play instead of flicking them violently once, then making her wait for if and when it would happen again. One play puts her in short term survival mode, the other in long term defense mode. One puts her on her toes for a few seconds, the other keeps her on them the entire time.

Think about it. Which is worse – knowing steady pain or the anticipation of it’s impending, sharp arrival…or not?

I thought so.

But that didn’t mean they were going to get off Scot free (heh).

“Shhhhhhhhh,” I whispered from behind her, her nude gyrating form a quivering mass of neurology gone mad.

“Hold still. Hold,” I grabbed her right breast fully with my left hand,

“very,” squeezed it firm as if she was going to be milked,

“still,” while I placed the extended pointer finger of my right hand inches above its nipple, so proudly thrust outward as a result of my grip.

Leigh froze, her feet a fidgeted blur of activity against the chains, bracing herself motionless as best she could. The breath from her nose was short, shallow and hinted at her growing anxiety over what she knew was about to..

thwack

Down came my pointer finger like a flogger’s tail, thudding against the protruding nipple with a delicious amount of force.

“AEEEEHHHHH!!” Leigh winced, her body lurching violently against the restraints. The tuunngggg of the chains echoed…

thwack

“OoohooOhhhOohh” …her breath a vain, feeble and frustrating attempt to…

thwack

“EeeeeehhHHHHH” …keep the spit from flying out of her…

thwack

“UhhhUHHUHhuuhhUHHH” …clenched teeth as her nipple hardened to an…

thwack

“MmmmmmHHMMMM!!! … engorged nub the size of which rivaled the…

thwack

“UhhhuhhuhhuhhHHH!!!!” …width of the finger causing it all the discomfort. The irony.

She snorted as if she had been a thoroughbred put away wet and unwashed after a day of wild running. Short, ragged, pulsing gasps punctuated by long, slow, drawn out shrills. It was exquisite to listen to, let alone be able to control the volume and tempo of with just one finger.

I could smell the arousal dripping in rivulets down her leg. The scattered drops of the same painted the hardwood floor with a patina of lust.

She whined, her pouted lips aquiver when my hands changed roles to apply the same attention to her other breast. Her reactions were no less arousing, perhaps even more so in that she knew what was coming. This continued for a few minutes as I alternated each breast with the same sadistic attentions. She seethed and cried, tugged and pulled at the chains, whimpered, moaned, soaked herself and our surroundings with her wetness.

By the time I stopped and began to softly massage her breasts, my fingers feathering across their entirety with the force of a butterfly’s wing, she was a sopping mess.

“Good girl,” I whispered to her slack form. My touches and voice became a port of refuge from the storm of the chains, “such a good girl.”

So it should not have come as a surprise when

FLICK!

My coiled middle fingers exploded from the trigger my thumbs provided. The violent, sudden contact with the ends of each nipple was quick, brutal and done with. And just as before, Leigh screamed.

I told you. It’s not the what you do, but the how. Not how many, but when. Not when you do but when you don’t.

With that I stepped out from behind and took a position aside her. My legs straddled the chain running taut from her left leg to the door frame behind me, a 3″ stainless steel eye hook insuring that it or Leigh were going nowhere. Both my hands surveyed her tight skin from knees to neck and everywhere in between. The left hand enjoyed her thighs, hips, cunt, stomach and breasts, its counterpart her hamstrings, ass cheeks, back and neck.

So soft, so vulnerable, so beautiful. I couldn’t resist leaning in to allow my teeth the same privilege, grazing the sloping skin of her nape and shoulders with an obligatory bite on her very hard nipple.

Leigh cooed at the touches, purred with each stroke. She had been a very good girl and, aside from giving her a much needed chance to catch her breath it was a reward of sorts. Plus, on a purely selfish level, I just fucking love to touch the alabaster velvet her skin is when its so taut.

And besides, I had a very good reason for standing on her left side. This position placed my right hand behind her.

You know, the hand I spank her with.

Chain Of Rules Act VII

Interview With A Submission Vampire Vol.1 No.13

Another Selfish Sunday, another IWASV™ at highway speeds.

The way the blog is starting to resemble a snowball rolling down an Alpine mountainside toward the sleepy, unexpecting village in the valley below feels like blogging above the speed limit as well. I’ll touch on this more sometime tomorrow morning in my weekly Monday java musings slash feeble attempt to chemically jump start my nervous system via massive doses of caffeine and smart ass commentary. But thank you all in advance.

If you are a long time (all of not four months makes you an old timer) Peeker™ you should be familiar with Leigh and mine’s adoration of spanking. She craves the good pain and release that a proper ass blistering can provide. I crave the way a few thousand well placed spanks from my hand can send her so far inside herself, as well as the simplistic reality that it’s humbling and fun as fuck to spank her snowy (more snow references) white ass cherry read.

It’s certainly a symbiotic relationship. Each of us feed off what the other brings, provides and gives freely via the course of a spanking session. Anyone who does not believe in the power exchange aspect of WIITWD is full of shit in my opinion. I’ve blogged about this on numerous occasions. Feel free to review the Random Musings in The Archives for more on my feelings regarding this.

But (heh, I said but while discussing spanking) back to the topic at hand (I’m killing myself here). Peeker™ surrenderedone offered this lovely question in regards to spanking, subspace/Topspace, limits and the power exchange that ties it all together (ooooh, bondage). She wanted to know:

“When Sir and I recently spent a long weekend together, we explored erotic spanking further.  I think my reactions to His spanking caused Him to worry He was hurting me too much for me to handle, and I wasn’t sure how to reassure Him.  I have read enough of your experiences to know that it is a process, that in some ways it seems to be like “hitting” the wall before the endorphins fit in. Both He and I want to push the limits further….to reach that “place.”  Are there any tips you have for reassuring each other and not being afraid to just “let go”?  We both feel we stopped before we really got to the good stuff ;)”

First, thank you for thinking enough of us to ask a spanking question. We are relative newcomers (heh) to this as well.

Spanking can be a (bad joke warning) hit or miss proposition. There are so may ways to approach how to not just incorporate this into your play but also just how. It seems a number of proponents embrace the few but fierce approach of a limited number of actual blows but at a velocity that is close to, if not at, their physical capabilities to deliver. Plus there is the whole issue of striking implements such as paddles, straps, canes, etc.

For the sake of my reply I will deal with the classic bare hand on bare ass. Its hard (I give up) to go wrong with this approach, but with it may I offer these suggestions:

– Start slow and low, as in not that violent. Warm the skin up, get the blood flowing, ease into the scene. You wouldn’t start your car on a freezing January morning and floor the accelerator to red line the RPMs, would you? Then use the same approach when warming your submissive’s ass.

– Use tempo. A slow steady rhythm that can be built on, increased in pace as the scene progresses. To build intensity rapidly strike the same ass cheek in repetition. A ten or twenty count on the same cheek is vastly different from the same alternating every other butt cheek.

– SDS. Cannot convey how important striking they Same Damn Spot repeatedly is. This builds endorphins like nothing else. Don’t wander. Find the submissive’s sweet spot, focus and hit it in succession with our waver. You’ll see.

– Build in breaks to the scene. This is where the Dominant needs to earn their stripes. The ability to know when their submissive has reached a certain level, a plateau, then push them just a little further than they think they can go. Now stop. Allow blood to flow back to the abused area. You’ll be rewarded on a variety of levels for this. It gives the submissive a chance to acclimate to their situation, perhaps get some endorphins, and also the increased blood return should aid in the acquisition of welts and bruises, which are oddly important to most submissives post scene.

– Now start all over but a little harder. Increase the force of the blows, the intensity, etc. Repeat all of the above. With each new round of spanks just keep doing what I described above, but with just a little more force, a hair more intensity.

– Eventually you will both reach a state where it is obvious that you have arrived at, or more specifically pushed each other to, what you think are your limits. This is where communication is key, and why safe words are so important. Until the submissive cries yellow or red, the Dominant should continue. The Dominant should know their submissive well enough to read body language, breathing patterns, muscle tension, verbal cues, etc.

Both of you will need to trust the other implicitly. The submissive will be at ease knowing that the Dominant will not ignore their impending limits but also push them a little. The Dominant will trust that as long as the submissive does not safe w0rd that everything, regardless of what it may appear, is fine. The submissive must NOT be proud! This is crucial. To endure any sort of BDSM play well past the point of “good pain” is dishonest. It is OK to call red, to admit that is enough. But before one does, trust the Dominant to know if you are capable of more than you may think. Likewise, as the Dominant it is your job to know when to push and when to back off.

In the end, it’s all about communication and trust. Don’t abuse either from either role in the D/s dynamic and you both will be rewarded. Don’t be afraid to be afraid, either of you. It’s OK.

I hope this helps you both push past that edge and into a whole new level of “letting go.”

– Scot

A Peek Back 8-18

I promised, after last’s weeks tangent on safe words, this week would be story intensive. So far I feel that I have honored my word.

Counting poetry, which is special to me in that it’s about one person and one person only (my Leigh), there are five new pieces of erotica to read. And, before midnight Sunday, there will be at least two more.

That would be, since I was in school the day they covered sevens, seven stories and poems in seven days. Its been a challenge to keystroke that much and have the confidence in them to click Publish. But I have enjoyed it, and from the page views so have you. There is a very good chance we could set a single week views record.

Very soon, likely in the next week or so, you will be all privy to some flogging stories, or at least one. Our initial foray into flog play went very well. Leigh was quite floaty, and I was rather proud of my neophyte efforts with the leathers. She has given this avenue the green light, so it’s very likely that as the days grow shorter our flogging stories will grow longer (heh).

I fucking love using it on her. Not gonna lie. But there is so much to learn and consider when using one. Practice, practice, practice. Plus Leigh has had a most unique challenge this week. You’ll read more about that as well.

If you’re a first time Peeker™ Leigh and I welcome you to your virginal peek through the keyhole. I strongly encourage you to view all of the established Pages, which can be viewed by selecting any of the tabs at the top of this page.

The Archives are an inclusive, running version of every post of note on this blog. If you have not read any or all of the stories, random musings, poetry, etc linked from The Archives by all means please grab a seat, perhaps a cup of coffee (we’re big on coffee) sit back and enjoy.

Speaking of coffee, read this week’s Peek Back as I get some more:

Interview With A Submission Vampire Vol.1 No.12 – In leu of a Peeker™ question I accepted another blogging award. This means ten more pieces of Scot Trivia…sigh.

The Greatest Coffee Excuse Is 6 AM Monday – Considering I was barely awake this week’s assortment of random musings was pretty good.

Drip Drop – An erotic poem inspired by the candlelit vision that was Leigh’s chained, spread eagle pose.

Scenesounds – While we haven’t added music to scenes, this is why and also some we might when we do.

The Butterfly Chains Act II – My sadistic plans took an unexpected turn when Leigh’s erotic beauty cast a spell.

An Erotic World Champion Poet – My poem Drip Drop was featured in a cleverly named ePub. I’m totally claiming this.

Breaking Leigh Act XI – The final act in the longest story on the blog, and a very special one to me personally.

Breaking Leigh – Epilogue – The postscript to the above. What happened later that night plus some thoughts on the story.

My Alabaster Doll – Another piece of erotic poetry, this time regarding the flogging of Leigh’s beautifully displayed breasts.

One last thing, a confession if you will. I’m actually typing this Friday evening. Oh, I didn’t lie about getting more coffee. I am. Just not as I prepare to finalize this so I can sleep in with my doll.

Am I sorry to have possibly told a creative truth earlier?

Nope…

– Scot

Breaking Leigh – Epilogue

(Note – this epilogue will have little meaning if you have not read Breaking Leigh)

12, 018 words to describe thirty minutes Leigh and I shared one amazing June evening. In literary terms that constitutes a novella.

When I signed Act XI the other evening I felt empty, vulnerable, fragile. It was akin to cradling a newborn, or handling other extremely delicate items that have personal value beyond measure. In a way I guess I was doing just that.

A memory. A precious moment now frozen in the sands of time and, through the marvels of 21st century digital technology, in bits and bytes for all of you to share in with us. I’m still, as I lie here on our bed not even five feet from where the story unfolded spank by smack, feeling a bit off. It’s entirely possible I’m experiencing an extremely mild and rare case of second-hand (heh) Topspace as a result of verbally articulating the keepsake that is the memory of that night.

I admit to actually being mildly afraid to writing that final Act out of not just the fear that I did not have the writing chops to do the moment’s beauty justice, but also that I was not sure how I was going to react myself. But I did, I am glad I did, and I am appreciative of everyone’s patience (I know, I know…) as Act to Act slowly unfolded like a rose bud into a full bloom.

Truth be told the night did not end there. Aftercare was administered with the same feelings that I mentioned above. Leigh was gone. Her body was there, but she was so far inside her self that only her gorgeous, school girl outfitted shell was there. I helped her to bed, got her some water, then wrapped myself around her. I held her tight, soothed her tears, stroked her hair, whispered enough sweet nothings to write a novella in and of themselves. Limp is an understatement as far as her body. She allowed me the honor of taking about everything that makes her Leigh and trusted me with it while she soared in subspace. There were no emotions left to give, no sparkle in what now looked like a doll’s eyes all glassy and black, not even the ability to hold me.

When she came back a short while later it was with a perverted vengeance.

We fucked like wild animals. Viciously. Sweating. Physical. Primal heat. Raw. We tried to kill one another with cunt and cock. The resultant mess of vaginal fluid soaked bedding and semen splattered plaid skirt was downright pornographic. Hyde got to play with Leigh’s counterpart. If a seething fuck is possible, we seethed each other’s brains out.

And I could have easily written another five or so Acts about that. But I won’t.

No, the end was when she looked back at me with her face a shambles of tear induced chaos and meekly smiled. Actually it just occurred to me that was Leigh saying “Thank you” in silence right before she left me for subspace.

This was a difficult story to write for, as I mentioned, a number of reasons. And for a number of Peekers™ it was a difficult story to read, especially the final three acts. Your Comments did not go unnoticed. It never occurred to me that by sharing our new memory that it may rip the scar off an old one for others, a wound that perhaps they did not willingly submit to receiving. If any undue trauma or the like resulted as an after effect of reading this story I apologize for your pain. Please know that Leigh’s desire to do this, as well as her eventual breakdown, were all done consensually with compassion, care, consideration, concern and above all love.

It may sound odd to those who do not understand or participate in WIITWD, but as violently as I attacked her ass with hand and hair brush every one of those strokes was administered with her well being in mind. The emotions that streamed out of her eyes in rivers were as pure as you can find, streams of salted emotion that flowed from the same pools from which tears of joy flow. You have to trust me on this. If you have ever just started crying from overwhelming happiness, or a stimuli of that sort, that is a variation of what she shed in great, heaving sobs over my knee.

It is NOT easy to just let go. Leigh’s role in our dynamic is far more complex and involved than mine. For her to truly experience the wondrous joy of total freedom and release she needs to leave reality behind. That is fucking difficult. Know why?

Because people fear themselves more than anything else. Leigh would argue she fears snakes more than anything, but I digress.

In her poem Our Greatest Fear Marianne Williamson sums this up best when she states:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

And she is right.

Leigh was powerful beyond measure that night. And I was, and am, blessed to have her as my best friend, coffee drinking bud, wife,  lover, kitchen helper, dog player wither, joke cracker, confidant, favorite hugger, slice of caker, and yes, my slutty doll behind a closed bedroom door.

– Scot