What Subspace Feels Like

Leigh and I, relaxing with coffee, talking about the day that was…and the night that will be.

On a lark she asks me to play something from The Phantom Of The Opera.

“No, not that one, the new one” she says after a few failed attempts on my part  to find the version she is hearing in her head.

Some quick Googling and soon Emmy Rossum is singing along side Gerard Butler. Damn, this guy did 300 and now is the Phantom? Talk about a lady killer.

Another lark, some perusing of other songs by Rossum, another song of hers, chosen completely by chance.

And Leigh freezes, mesmerized.

“That’s it! Listen to the lyrics. That’s what it feels like!” she exclaims.

So we listen together to, out of the millions of songs on YouTube, this particular one for no other reason than an amazing twist of the Fates led us to it.

“That’s what it feels like it,” she says again, “that’s subspace.”

She’s right.

– Scot

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We’re Pink Leather Unicorn Awesome! Twice!

And proud of it!

It’s official – The Dom Next Door™ is, according to the lovely and enchanting Alice of the Story Of Alice, a META Awesomest Blog!

The META Awesomest Blog

Per Alice the award is “the silliest picture in existence.” Truer words may have never been blogged.

Alice’s blog is a beautifully painted world filled with lovely musings, all featuring a cast of very interesting characters. She and I had a most interesting discussion one time about her Chris and the fact that he may indeed be an angel among us. And please do yourself a favor and click the link provided above to her blog. Her acceptance page for this most unique award is probably the most innocently erotic and beautiful award page I’ve read. And yes, the rest of her blog reads like that as well.

But wait, there’s more!

What are the odds of receiving not just one muscular, pink leather clad, purple feather mohawked unicorn award but TWO muscular, pink leather clad, purple feather mohawked unicorn awards within a 24 hour period? Because right on Alice’s heels (that’s a nice visual) Lo and HH at MySexLifeWithLola did just that as well as nominated us for the Beautiful Blogger Award!

Beautiful Blogger Award III

Per their own equally beautiful blog Lola is a “feminist, lover, exhibitionist, nymphomaniac woman.” HH writes about what its like to be the guy to a feminist, lover, exhibitionist, nymphomaniac woman. And does so very well. In an open, eclectic format their adventures, thoughts, musings, stories, imagery and poems make for a very naughty blog curry full of spice. Check them out if you get the chance.

We love to receive these. It’s a compliment from one’s blogging peers, peers that we think of highly. To disregard such a lovely gesture I feel is rude. So we humbly accept both awards.

But with each comes rules. First the ones for the Beautiful Blogger:

The Rules

1. Include the award logo somewhere in your blog. (See the Trophy Shelf for all our awards and links to the acceptance pages)
2. Answer 10 questions you have about yourself (More Scot Trivia…sigh)
3. Nominate 10 to 12 blogs you enjoy. Or you pick the number. (I’ll pick the number)
4. Pay the love forward: Provide your nominee’s link in your post and comment on their blog to let them know they’ve been included and invited to participate.
5. Pay the love back with gratitude and a link to the blogger(s) who nominated you.

Spacer Bar

OK, so ten more answers to questions about The Dom Next Door™:

– The most expensive bottle of wine I’ve been privy to taste was a Penfold’s Shiraz Cab with a value of just under $300. And yes, it was that fucking good. I licked my lips for thirty minutes after.
– I’ve eaten cheese steaks at both Pat’s and Geno’s within minutes of each other. Just waked across the street from Geno’s to Pat’s and stood where Rocky Balboa did. My verdict? By a whisker Pat’s is better. I realize I may lose Peekers™ as a result of that admission.
– I’ve yelled “OPIE!!!!” across the street at a waving Ron Howard.
– As a result of sports injuries I have disfigured digits, on a hand and foot each. Not saying which digit(s), how many or which hand or foot.
– If you haven’t figured it out by now I’m primarily a cat person, although JD is fucking awesome.
– A family member helped build the Superdome in Louisiana, but not in Louisiana.
– Bagpipes and drums fucking fire me up.
– My whole life I have received compliments from women about my hair. Leigh loves how soft it is.
– Among my most cherished possessions are the hand written recipes of ancestors I both knew and only know via photos.
– I once drove 257 miles one way to see a high school football game. My friend’s team won.
– Cold does not bother me nearly as much as it does most people.
– By anyone’s standards I have some very, very dark secrets. And we’ll leave it at that.

Now for the META Awesome Blogger Award. Alice said I could do what I want…heh. That is very dangerous.

I think what I will do is that I’ll nominate the following blogs as both Awesome AND Beautiful, but with a catch:

If you are mentioned below, in order to accept this combo award you MUST share as part of your acceptance which story on The Dom Next Door is your favorite and why. I’m always curious to see what appeals to others and the reason(s) it does. So, with that caveat, my nominations:

Blogs I Think Are Awesome AND Beautiful

LIfe Under A Firm Hand – Mrs. Soft Bottom’s gorgeous blog about her and Mr. Firm Hand’s journey as a married couple into D/s.

Exploring Surrender – Conina lovingly writes and shares about her and her husband’s journey into BDSM and D/s.

You Linger Like A Haunting Refrain – Fatal, our very first Peeker™, has a scorching blog. Asbestos screen suggested.

Deviant Diaries – Ms. D. What can I say? Someday a lucky Dom will be able to call her His. Make sure you’re in line to follow along when it happens.

Of Glass And Paper – The keyboard on Sisyphus47’s computer is lucky. The words that flow…damn.

A Dissolute Life – Possibly the rawest blog I follow. Hyacinth is brutally honest. The blog equivalent of how a ripped off bandage feels. And she has some toe curling sexual escapades.

Undue Creativity – CC, one of our most ardent Peekers™, also write a helluva blog. She’ll see her name on a spine of a book in the naughty section someday. You can get a peek at the heat in between those covers to be now. Do it.

Love Sex and Marriage – LSAM writes a brutally frank, scorchingly erotic and musingly interesting blog about what its like to be married and a submissive to her hubby M.

Vanity Card Archives – Aside from being a great teacher, Agatha-Luise is also a very talented writer and equally naughty at heart.

Vagina Antics – In short, Heather Cole and Nikki Blue are two of the funniest, wittiest, sexiest, raunchiest, drinkingest vagina owners blogging anywhere.

A Sexual Being – Like hot? Kayla Lord’s blog is that with a touch of sweetness.

DD and D/s – Bella blogs about what its like embracing, well, DD and D/s. Salacious commentary, and they also share the warts with the kisses and spanks.

Mew Tube – Kyle is the James Brown of naughty WordPress blogs. His likes, comments and blogging put us all to shame. A wildly eclectic naughty stew of random kinkiness.

Turning Off The Red Light – Miss Red is a former lady of the evening trying to start over. Her journey is raw, sexy and fascinating.

Deviant Wench – Another married, kinky, submissive feminist (her words) sharing her D/s and BDSM journey. Another blog that requires fireproof screens for viewing. Another blog you should check out.

We’re All Mad Inhere – QuantumPhysica is a real life “Girl Interrupted”. I adore this blog. She is fascinating, brilliant, admittedly psychotic and also very naughty.

Temperature’s Rising – It is very possible Mrs. Fever and I are somehow related in that we are so much alike. Smartass extraordinaire, kinkster par excellence. A year from now she’ll have 1000+ Followers. Get in line, trust me.

Creative Noodling – Marian can write. Hot. Paints beautifully crafted scenes via brushstrokes of words. Tell her Glenn said “Hi.”

PostGlow – The new kink on the block. Suqui’s blog is another female submissive driven one, but she drives fast and hard. I’m glad I chanced across her.

I could have kept going. Hopefully we’ll been deemed worthy of more kudos, which will give me the opportunity to add to this list.

Thank you again Alice, Lo & HH!

– Scot and Leigh

Interview With A Submission Vampire Vol.1 No.10

Another Selfish Sunday, another Interview at 60MPH.

Leigh’s insistence on driving is a double edged sword of sorts. On one side of the blade there is the obvious affront to my driving skills and rugged machismo. As mentioned previously, I am not the household’s all-time record holder in moving violations (heh).

But then I turn the blade over and there is being, in effect, chauffeured by a vivacious, large breasted, baby blue eyed redhead. Don’t think that I don’t cop gratuitous feels or looks. And I also get to just be, relax, zone out. Leigh has commented on the snoring beside her on more than one occasion.

And I get to read, which I adore. Unlike a lot of people I don’t get car sick when skimming pages over the speed limit. And eat. And drink.

And why the fuck am I complaining? Exactly what is wrong with this picture?

Why, nothing. Drive on Leigh, drive on. I have perverts to interact with. And if I chance across an unsecured WiFi hot spot even update the blog on the fly…literally.

Which brings us to, as not to upset any of the local law enforcement and add to Leigh’s house record, a just over the speed limit installment of IWASV™, our tenth one! Has it really been ten weeks of TDND™ already? Damn!

This week’s question is courtesy of avid Peeker™ Kayla Lords. Her comments are always insightful, raw in honesty, usually dripping with heat and overall good mojo. She also gives great blog. Check her out.

Kayla wanted to know:

“In your posts, you talk about the sensuous, sexual side of your TDND relationship.  I don’t remember a post about discipline/punishment for Leigh when she does something wrong.  Is that not a part of the dynamic of your relationship?  Do you simply choose to keep that part of your relationship private?  Or I have gone blind, and you’ve talked about it plenty, but I didn’t see it?  If you don’t mind sharing, how does punishment and discipline work in your D/s relationship?”

First, thank you for the question Kayla. We love Peekers™ who want more of an eyeful.

Leigh did touch on this very issue when she shared her thoughts and views via answering the spanking meme, specifically questions #4, 11, 17, 21, 38, 42 and 46. But to expound on this, no we do not use spanking as a form of actual punishment. Although, to be fair, I did interject it into the Breaking Leigh scene as an unplanned reason as to why she was to be spanked to tears.

That, in hindsight (really bad spanking joke) was likely more for me to establish a persona opposite her naughty school girl. So it may be fair to say that in the future when we do role play, we may very well use pseudo punishment as an underlying theme to give us a common delineator between characters.

But, as Leigh so distinctly put it in the meme, she enjoys “spanking for the sake of spanking.” And she also loathes, and I mean bristles, at the thought of introducing actual punishment in any way, shape or form. This is one area of D/s that she has absolutely zero interest in exploring. Outside the bedroom we are we. She is my wife, my best friend, my equal partner in the journey of life. She does not take well to being told what to do, which may explain why behind a closed bedroom door she embraces it.

I’ve referenced this a few times in previous musings about her, that there are dark aspects to Leigh she has a love-hate relationship with. As in she hates to admit that she loves being forced to be such a slut, to do and have done to/with/in/on her all types of perversions. Be it to herself due to situation, or out loud and verbally to me as a result of certain persuasive techniques, she can use D/s as a conduit to remove herself from the equation. She is not the one doing these filthy acts, but rather she has no choice but to do them.

Personally, I would rather feed off this internal dilemma of carnal mind fuck than have her a wantonly open and enthusiastically uninhibited slut offering the same. Its so much more delicious to force her to confront her own filthy kink than to have her just give it away to me. Its not the kill, but the thrill of the chase.

So, indirectly, there are trace elements of humiliation and punishment. But those are just for us to enjoy. I have no desire to subject her to any similar dilemmas outside our dynamic, not that she would allow me to anyway. Plus, she’s far too bright a diamond to dull that way.

For us the D/s dynamic works just fine without being caged within the framework of a formalized agreement, contract and any subsequent penalties for violating one. She has four simple rules for when the bedroom door closes, and I respect any and all her hard limits. That is not to say  I do not push her on some of them. I’d be a sad excuse of a Sir to not try to help her venture further inside herself than she may admit she is capable of going.

I’m not passing judgment on those who find this exhilarating or even a fetish. I can totally see the appeal of it, and if the looming threat of punishment works for them by all means more power exchange to them. My only thoughts on such arrangements is that often the submissive will be a brat on purpose to be disciplined, punished, etc. I’m not down with that at all. Its classic Topping from the bottom “Ooooh, I was a bad, bad girl. I’m going to get punished!” on purpose shit.

That’s not being honest. That’s an end to a means (another bad spanking joke) with an agenda. The purpose is willful intent to achieve a desired result – being disciplined for “bad behavior”. Its basically role play, which is fine. Just don’t call it structured or formal punishment. It is what it is – role playing, not D/s punishment.

Just yesterday Leigh texted me and said “I think I need a good spanking. So I can just let go for a while.” You will all be reading about the beauty of that evening soon, if I can adequately find the words to properly paint such a special moment with the portrait it deserves.

No punishment. No discipline. I was in control, she was subservient to my wishes. Yet we worked together, hand on ass, to get both of us to a beautiful moment in time. And not one iota of her being a bad girl deserving an hour on my lap while her collar was chained to the wall.

She was an angel over my knee. And angels should not be punished. They should be celebrated, even one spank at a time.

Just my two cents, which is about all its worth.

– Scot

Monday Coffee Kickstart

No, I did not forget about Peeker™ Nation yesterday.

If you noticed that there was not the 10th (tenth!) installment of an Interview With A Submission Vampire , you were correct. If you didn’t notice, I guess I’m being presumptuous that it would matter.

My apologies to all. WordPress was being a, well, I’ll be polite and say it was having technical difficulties. I tried all evening to Publish IWASV but to no avail. Frustrated is a mild way of putting it.

The only upside to all of this is that I have two blog posts in the bank. I’m not even sure that as I caffeinate this morning what I am musing about will be able to be Published. Oh well.

Summer is basically 2/3s over. For some that is a reason to frown. Personally I cannot wait until it is.

Oh sure, I enjoy the greenery and the amazing produce at farmer’s markets, but truth be told Autumn is where it’s at for me. There is nothing about it I don’t like. The crisp bite of air punctuated by the sun’s warm rays, football helmets cracking in the dog days of its heat, the leaves becoming an Impressionistic masterpiece of warm earth tones, the warming one’s outer and inner self by the crackle of a hard wood fire while enjoying a beer that’s slighty maltier and higher in ABV.

And my favorite – time to break out the sweatshirts.

I love Autumn.

Buy we sill have four weeks of summer to enjoy. And that’s cool. Actually as we enter August it’s typically anything put cool. Like this cup of coffee I’m enjoying.

Now that I’m starting to javanate, some musings that have no rhyme, reason or character, but they do have characters.

– Last week I am fairly certain I met a Domme Next Door. This young lady set my KINKDAR off like a pinball machine. She was with, based on the way they were interacting, who I assume was her boyfriend. He was dressed in a faded T-shirt, worn jeans, sneakers, a bit scruffy. She, on the other hand, was impeccable. An understated crisp white blouse, snug above the knee black knit skirt, white hose and gloss black pumps. The transparent back to the blouse left nothing to the imagination as her choice of a black lace brassiere was blatant. Her hair was jet black, just below ear length, clean and subtly styled.

But it was the way they interacted, how she dripped confidence. She practically left a puddle of control where she was standing. That’s what made my KINKDAR go to DEFCON 5. There was no mistake who the Alpha was. And before anyone thinks that I simply chanced across a girl from the office out with her guy, it was mid afternoon Saturday when I saw them. The way she was dressed was without question a personal choice.

I am all but 100% convinced that her guy knows what it is like to say “Yes Mistress”, or perhaps beg her permission to do something. It’s likely he knows the feeling of being physically restrained while saying all of the above as well. And he knows pain. Lots.

It made me recall how, about a month ago, I chanced across another young woman in the employment of a large supermarket who was wearing a spiked black leather collar at work.

My KINKDAR was silent. Not a ping. Nada. Wanna be pretender wearing the uniform of those she was trying to be, yet failing. She was about as kinky as a piece of dry wheat toast.

– The topic of flogging actually came up (heh) as a work place item of discussion. Shit you not. I just listened, nodded, laughed, then walked away, smiling to myself. Evilly.

– Peeker™ Nation is now officially 400 strong. Leigh and I thank all of you perverted minions.

JD now has an agent and a PR Department. The Cat Next Door is pissed.

– Assuming WordPress allows me to fucking Publish we also received two blog awards last week, one of them twice! I can confidently say it will be the most, um, unique trophy on the shelf. And yes, that means more Scot trivia….sigh.

– Saturday Leigh texted me to the extent of “I think a need a good spanking. So I can just let go for a while.” If I can do the resultant evening justice you will all have a new story to read soon. It was fucking beautiful, if an intense spanking, fucking and forced orgasm scene (with bondage!) can be described as such. The emotions shared were brutally eloquent in their radiance and beauty.

– Along those lines Breaking Leigh should finally come to tears this week. The longest story in the blog’s history will reach a zenith…then continue. Chain Of Rules will find my hands places other than Leigh’s outstretched arms. Seek And Go Hyde will actually get hotter, which if you read Act II is saying something. BDSM On A Budget will happen….grr. More poetry for Leigh, likely inspired by the scene I alluded to early, and if I finish it a review of a BDSM book I’m rereading.

And with that I need more java.

– Scot

A Peek Back 7-28

It’s true.

Famous actors always lament that the animals steal their best scenes. No ones remembers their performance, only how cute or funny the critter was.

It’s also true for bloggers who share sordid tales of BDSM lust, perversion and all things naughty. Write possibly the hottest Act you’ve ever keystroked in the blog’s short history and what lights up your Twitter TL like a Christmas tree the same day?

A fucking humor piece about our dog JD.

Just kidding. I’m glad JD’s initial (I’m sure you’ll hear from his nose again) post was so well received. As we always say, it does not have to be German opera 24/7 to be real BDSM and D/s.

And speaking of 24/7, did you know that is the reason for one of the following links? Curious? Read on.

For all you new Peekers™, every Saturday AM I share A Peek Back. This feature of TDND™ allows long time Followers as well as you neophyte perverts to review, with a single post,  what has transpired over the past seven days.

Oh, and I typing this Friday night so I can sleep while you read this. Or maybe I’ll be up (heh) early. Either way I’m being selfish with my time, but not at the expense of Peeker™ Nation, which is almost 400 strong now! We should get shirts printed….hhmmm.

If you are a neophyte Peeker™ welcome! I strongly encourage you to view all of the established Pages, which can be viewed by selecting any of the tabs at the top of this page.

The Archives are an inclusive, running version of every post of note on this blog. If you have not read any or all of the stories, random musings, poetry, etc linked from The Archives by all means please grab a seat, perhaps some coffee, sit back and enjoy.

So unless a fucking squirrel runs across my keyboard here are this week’s Peek Back features:

Interview With A Submission Vampire Vol.1, No. 9 – In which we tackle the age old question: plastic or glass anal plugs?

Monday’s Java Taste The Best – The weekly stream of semi-consciousness while in the midst of serious caffienation.

Chain Of Rules Act III – Leigh cuffed, collared and chained torment begins.

Seek And Go Hyde – The newest story. If you are a hand job aficionado you want to read this.

Happy International BDSM Day! – I seriously had no idea there was an official day for WIITWD.

Breaking Leigh Act IX – The longest story on the blog now finds Leigh’s completely bare and very sore ass spanked…hard.

When Words Die – An erotic poem inspired by the evening that inspired Seek And Go Hyde.

Seek And Go Hyde Act II – No bullshit. Possibly the hottest Act I have written yet. Even I needed to cool off after writing it!

The Dog Next Door – Meet JD. He chases squirrels, eats bacon, humorously blogs when I’m not looking and steals my limelight. SQUIRREL!

JD Is Famous! SQUIRREL! – Would you believe that fleabag got reblogged in a humor ePub?

A Rising Tide Floats All Boats – My obligatory post as a BDSM blogger about a certain neutral hued and much maligned book series. Not what you think.

I’m still either asleep or having morning sex! HA!

– Scot

A Rising Tide Floats All Boats

Well, in that I write a BDSM blog c.2012 I guess its time for my obligatory thoughts on a certain neutral hued book series (Disclaimer – No, I have not read them, nor do I intend to.)

My thoughts are more on the backlash against not so much the quality or believability of the writings, but rather those who are making this out to be the BDSMpocalypse, The End Of Scenes, Harmageddon, and so on.

I have always, in being an admitted neophyte to WIITWD, made sure to give proper respect, thanks, appreciation and general kudos to those who live and breathe BDSM and/or D/s. There are countless millions whom I will never know who devote their lives to the craft of pain, Dominance and submission, for who it is a way of life.

I make no secret that I have so much to learn about all of this, and have spent many hours doing so via books, online research and interacting with like-minded perverts via TDND™. I admire, respect and have the utmost appreciation for those who so openly share, promote, discuss, assist and help the next generation of kinksters, whatever generation they may fall in at the time they decide to embrace the darker side of human sexuality.

But the uproar over the invasion of the porn mommies is, really, I mean folks….c’mon. As the title of this post infers, a rising tide floats all boats. So what if the tide is grey?

Allow me to elaborate:

The people devouring this series will become curious. What else is out there? Do you think for a second the authors of more accepted BDSM themed fiction and/or non-fiction are upset their works are getting reissued? Fuck no! A whole new generation will get to discover the beauty of The Taking Of Sleeping Beauty now that its being repackaged and rereleased. Countless BDSM fiction authors are also getting the opportunity to not just be compensated again for their efforts but have their older works rediscovered. I know a certain author, a lifetime BDSM scene activist and player, whose works are now on the shelf at your local Target. Why?

The grey tide.

Further along the same lines couples, or more specifically the women in them or will be in them, are now curious. To which I say – YEAH! How sad to think that so many would just go their lives and think of kink as leaving the lights on and not removing the throw pillows during sex. Now they, with a grey fire lit inside them, want to know, see, feel, explore, participate. I will admit that I have my reservations about what their expectations are based on their readings. It’s not easy going from being her guy to her Sir. It does not happen overnight. Nor is it easy to completely submit. It’s a lot fucking harder than it sounds to just let go and be.

I also can envision that, in the future, predators sitting back and wistfully recall the feeding frenzy of 2012 when schools of grey blinded, inexperienced yet curious submissives swam blindly and enthusiastically into their teeth. Not all Dominants have their submissive’s best interest at heart, if at all sadly. But I digress.

I would hope that the long time scene activists and life-stylers, the same ones nauseated by all this grey furor, are also reaping the rewards of it. Web site traffic, increased memberships, views and downloads, attendance at seminars and conventions, toy and gear manufacturers and retailers. All of their boats high on a grey tide that turned very green for them. Do they ask each new pervert if they are there because they’re grey? And if so, do they turn down the opportunity to benefit from the high tide? I seriously doubt it.

The phenomenon is not unprecedented. These books are what are called “transitional.” They act as the conduit, the bridge, the open door to a whole new world. The Story Of O gets discovered, de Sade’s Justine looked at. Non-fictional tomes become user’s manuals. Suddenly a scarf is not just a fashion accessory, or rope something to use for yard work. I’ve even read that, in England, home improvement stores are seeing a huge increase in rope sales as they ride the grey wave. “You Can Do It, We Can Help” indeed!

The grey door may be cheap and unattractive to many, but it is open. And many are not just peeking through (shameless plug of our site’s slogan) but walking into the unknown through it. And that is good.

For what will invariably happen is what has happened on almost all the blogs I have read. That what it takes to explore D/s and BDSM spills over into the relationship by the bucketful. Communication blossoms, interest is rekindled, bounds having nothing to do with cuffs or chains grow stronger. For couples in long established relationships the embers of the early days of their union are stoked again. They may have been covered with layers of ash from decades of real life and what it did to their passion. Mortgages, bills, kids, age, familiarity, etc. But those embers never died. They were always there. And along comes the winds of D/s and/or BDSM and, more specifically, everything aside from the obvious that they require.

And those embers glow, burn, blaze anew. Does amazing, kinky sex have anything to do with it? Sure! But that wasn’t the only reason you fell in love with your other. Every other aspect of that passion is rekindled. And for many of them, because of something grey on a Kindle.

And I think that’s fucking great. A single grey step turned into yellow and red, which became rose colored through putting on old spectacles long forgotten.

So the next time you feel the urge to pass judgment, perhaps take a step back and appreciate that they are, at least, interested. And that, in time, they may come (heh) to know the same things you do and be a much better couple or person for it.

That their hair will turn grey but not their new passion, regardless of what color book set them along a fresh kinky path into the future.

– Scot

JD Is Famous! SQUIRREL!

You spend months and countless hours building up a following of kinky, perverted minions, write scintillating tales of forbidden acts of bondage and domination, all for what?

To have your dog sabotage your efforts by posting when you leave the fucking laptop blogged in.

JD’s frantic, tail wagging, tell all, wet nose typed (holy shit was the keyboard a nose printed mess of goo) guerrilla ambush post The Dog Next Door was not just well received by Peeker™ Nation, but get this:

It was mentioned as a featured humorous story in the latest issue of The Lighter Side Of Life Part 2!

Unfuckingbelievable.

Congrats JD, oh look….SQUIRREL!!

Heh…

– Scot