Well, in that I write a BDSM blog c.2012 I guess its time for my obligatory thoughts on a certain neutral hued book series (Disclaimer – No, I have not read them, nor do I intend to.)
My thoughts are more on the backlash against not so much the quality or believability of the writings, but rather those who are making this out to be the BDSMpocalypse, The End Of Scenes, Harmageddon, and so on.
I have always, in being an admitted neophyte to WIITWD, made sure to give proper respect, thanks, appreciation and general kudos to those who live and breathe BDSM and/or D/s. There are countless millions whom I will never know who devote their lives to the craft of pain, Dominance and submission, for who it is a way of life.
I make no secret that I have so much to learn about all of this, and have spent many hours doing so via books, online research and interacting with like-minded perverts via TDND™. I admire, respect and have the utmost appreciation for those who so openly share, promote, discuss, assist and help the next generation of kinksters, whatever generation they may fall in at the time they decide to embrace the darker side of human sexuality.
But the uproar over the invasion of the porn mommies is, really, I mean folks….c’mon. As the title of this post infers, a rising tide floats all boats. So what if the tide is grey?
Allow me to elaborate:
The people devouring this series will become curious. What else is out there? Do you think for a second the authors of more accepted BDSM themed fiction and/or non-fiction are upset their works are getting reissued? Fuck no! A whole new generation will get to discover the beauty of The Taking Of Sleeping Beauty now that its being repackaged and rereleased. Countless BDSM fiction authors are also getting the opportunity to not just be compensated again for their efforts but have their older works rediscovered. I know a certain author, a lifetime BDSM scene activist and player, whose works are now on the shelf at your local Target. Why?
The grey tide.
Further along the same lines couples, or more specifically the women in them or will be in them, are now curious. To which I say – YEAH! How sad to think that so many would just go their lives and think of kink as leaving the lights on and not removing the throw pillows during sex. Now they, with a grey fire lit inside them, want to know, see, feel, explore, participate. I will admit that I have my reservations about what their expectations are based on their readings. It’s not easy going from being her guy to her Sir. It does not happen overnight. Nor is it easy to completely submit. It’s a lot fucking harder than it sounds to just let go and be.
I also can envision that, in the future, predators sitting back and wistfully recall the feeding frenzy of 2012 when schools of grey blinded, inexperienced yet curious submissives swam blindly and enthusiastically into their teeth. Not all Dominants have their submissive’s best interest at heart, if at all sadly. But I digress.
I would hope that the long time scene activists and life-stylers, the same ones nauseated by all this grey furor, are also reaping the rewards of it. Web site traffic, increased memberships, views and downloads, attendance at seminars and conventions, toy and gear manufacturers and retailers. All of their boats high on a grey tide that turned very green for them. Do they ask each new pervert if they are there because they’re grey? And if so, do they turn down the opportunity to benefit from the high tide? I seriously doubt it.
The phenomenon is not unprecedented. These books are what are called “transitional.” They act as the conduit, the bridge, the open door to a whole new world. The Story Of O gets discovered, de Sade’s Justine looked at. Non-fictional tomes become user’s manuals. Suddenly a scarf is not just a fashion accessory, or rope something to use for yard work. I’ve even read that, in England, home improvement stores are seeing a huge increase in rope sales as they ride the grey wave. “You Can Do It, We Can Help” indeed!
The grey door may be cheap and unattractive to many, but it is open. And many are not just peeking through (shameless plug of our site’s slogan) but walking into the unknown through it. And that is good.
For what will invariably happen is what has happened on almost all the blogs I have read. That what it takes to explore D/s and BDSM spills over into the relationship by the bucketful. Communication blossoms, interest is rekindled, bounds having nothing to do with cuffs or chains grow stronger. For couples in long established relationships the embers of the early days of their union are stoked again. They may have been covered with layers of ash from decades of real life and what it did to their passion. Mortgages, bills, kids, age, familiarity, etc. But those embers never died. They were always there. And along comes the winds of D/s and/or BDSM and, more specifically, everything aside from the obvious that they require.
And those embers glow, burn, blaze anew. Does amazing, kinky sex have anything to do with it? Sure! But that wasn’t the only reason you fell in love with your other. Every other aspect of that passion is rekindled. And for many of them, because of something grey on a Kindle.
And I think that’s fucking great. A single grey step turned into yellow and red, which became rose colored through putting on old spectacles long forgotten.
So the next time you feel the urge to pass judgment, perhaps take a step back and appreciate that they are, at least, interested. And that, in time, they may come (heh) to know the same things you do and be a much better couple or person for it.
That their hair will turn grey but not their new passion, regardless of what color book set them along a fresh kinky path into the future.