Interview With A Submission Vampire Vol.1 No.13

Another Selfish Sunday, another IWASV™ at highway speeds.

The way the blog is starting to resemble a snowball rolling down an Alpine mountainside toward the sleepy, unexpecting village in the valley below feels like blogging above the speed limit as well. I’ll touch on this more sometime tomorrow morning in my weekly Monday java musings slash feeble attempt to chemically jump start my nervous system via massive doses of caffeine and smart ass commentary. But thank you all in advance.

If you are a long time (all of not four months makes you an old timer) Peeker™ you should be familiar with Leigh and mine’s adoration of spanking. She craves the good pain and release that a proper ass blistering can provide. I crave the way a few thousand well placed spanks from my hand can send her so far inside herself, as well as the simplistic reality that it’s humbling and fun as fuck to spank her snowy (more snow references) white ass cherry read.

It’s certainly a symbiotic relationship. Each of us feed off what the other brings, provides and gives freely via the course of a spanking session. Anyone who does not believe in the power exchange aspect of WIITWD is full of shit in my opinion. I’ve blogged about this on numerous occasions. Feel free to review the Random Musings in The Archives for more on my feelings regarding this.

But (heh, I said but while discussing spanking) back to the topic at hand (I’m killing myself here). Peeker™ surrenderedone offered this lovely question in regards to spanking, subspace/Topspace, limits and the power exchange that ties it all together (ooooh, bondage). She wanted to know:

“When Sir and I recently spent a long weekend together, we explored erotic spanking further.  I think my reactions to His spanking caused Him to worry He was hurting me too much for me to handle, and I wasn’t sure how to reassure Him.  I have read enough of your experiences to know that it is a process, that in some ways it seems to be like “hitting” the wall before the endorphins fit in. Both He and I want to push the limits further….to reach that “place.”  Are there any tips you have for reassuring each other and not being afraid to just “let go”?  We both feel we stopped before we really got to the good stuff ;)”

First, thank you for thinking enough of us to ask a spanking question. We are relative newcomers (heh) to this as well.

Spanking can be a (bad joke warning) hit or miss proposition. There are so may ways to approach how to not just incorporate this into your play but also just how. It seems a number of proponents embrace the few but fierce approach of a limited number of actual blows but at a velocity that is close to, if not at, their physical capabilities to deliver. Plus there is the whole issue of striking implements such as paddles, straps, canes, etc.

For the sake of my reply I will deal with the classic bare hand on bare ass. Its hard (I give up) to go wrong with this approach, but with it may I offer these suggestions:

– Start slow and low, as in not that violent. Warm the skin up, get the blood flowing, ease into the scene. You wouldn’t start your car on a freezing January morning and floor the accelerator to red line the RPMs, would you? Then use the same approach when warming your submissive’s ass.

– Use tempo. A slow steady rhythm that can be built on, increased in pace as the scene progresses. To build intensity rapidly strike the same ass cheek in repetition. A ten or twenty count on the same cheek is vastly different from the same alternating every other butt cheek.

– SDS. Cannot convey how important striking they Same Damn Spot repeatedly is. This builds endorphins like nothing else. Don’t wander. Find the submissive’s sweet spot, focus and hit it in succession with our waver. You’ll see.

– Build in breaks to the scene. This is where the Dominant needs to earn their stripes. The ability to know when their submissive has reached a certain level, a plateau, then push them just a little further than they think they can go. Now stop. Allow blood to flow back to the abused area. You’ll be rewarded on a variety of levels for this. It gives the submissive a chance to acclimate to their situation, perhaps get some endorphins, and also the increased blood return should aid in the acquisition of welts and bruises, which are oddly important to most submissives post scene.

– Now start all over but a little harder. Increase the force of the blows, the intensity, etc. Repeat all of the above. With each new round of spanks just keep doing what I described above, but with just a little more force, a hair more intensity.

– Eventually you will both reach a state where it is obvious that you have arrived at, or more specifically pushed each other to, what you think are your limits. This is where communication is key, and why safe words are so important. Until the submissive cries yellow or red, the Dominant should continue. The Dominant should know their submissive well enough to read body language, breathing patterns, muscle tension, verbal cues, etc.

Both of you will need to trust the other implicitly. The submissive will be at ease knowing that the Dominant will not ignore their impending limits but also push them a little. The Dominant will trust that as long as the submissive does not safe w0rd that everything, regardless of what it may appear, is fine. The submissive must NOT be proud! This is crucial. To endure any sort of BDSM play well past the point of “good pain” is dishonest. It is OK to call red, to admit that is enough. But before one does, trust the Dominant to know if you are capable of more than you may think. Likewise, as the Dominant it is your job to know when to push and when to back off.

In the end, it’s all about communication and trust. Don’t abuse either from either role in the D/s dynamic and you both will be rewarded. Don’t be afraid to be afraid, either of you. It’s OK.

I hope this helps you both push past that edge and into a whole new level of “letting go.”

– Scot

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A Peek Back 8-18

I promised, after last’s weeks tangent on safe words, this week would be story intensive. So far I feel that I have honored my word.

Counting poetry, which is special to me in that it’s about one person and one person only (my Leigh), there are five new pieces of erotica to read. And, before midnight Sunday, there will be at least two more.

That would be, since I was in school the day they covered sevens, seven stories and poems in seven days. Its been a challenge to keystroke that much and have the confidence in them to click Publish. But I have enjoyed it, and from the page views so have you. There is a very good chance we could set a single week views record.

Very soon, likely in the next week or so, you will be all privy to some flogging stories, or at least one. Our initial foray into flog play went very well. Leigh was quite floaty, and I was rather proud of my neophyte efforts with the leathers. She has given this avenue the green light, so it’s very likely that as the days grow shorter our flogging stories will grow longer (heh).

I fucking love using it on her. Not gonna lie. But there is so much to learn and consider when using one. Practice, practice, practice. Plus Leigh has had a most unique challenge this week. You’ll read more about that as well.

If you’re a first time Peeker™ Leigh and I welcome you to your virginal peek through the keyhole. I strongly encourage you to view all of the established Pages, which can be viewed by selecting any of the tabs at the top of this page.

The Archives are an inclusive, running version of every post of note on this blog. If you have not read any or all of the stories, random musings, poetry, etc linked from The Archives by all means please grab a seat, perhaps a cup of coffee (we’re big on coffee) sit back and enjoy.

Speaking of coffee, read this week’s Peek Back as I get some more:

Interview With A Submission Vampire Vol.1 No.12 – In leu of a Peeker™ question I accepted another blogging award. This means ten more pieces of Scot Trivia…sigh.

The Greatest Coffee Excuse Is 6 AM Monday – Considering I was barely awake this week’s assortment of random musings was pretty good.

Drip Drop – An erotic poem inspired by the candlelit vision that was Leigh’s chained, spread eagle pose.

Scenesounds – While we haven’t added music to scenes, this is why and also some we might when we do.

The Butterfly Chains Act II – My sadistic plans took an unexpected turn when Leigh’s erotic beauty cast a spell.

An Erotic World Champion Poet – My poem Drip Drop was featured in a cleverly named ePub. I’m totally claiming this.

Breaking Leigh Act XI – The final act in the longest story on the blog, and a very special one to me personally.

Breaking Leigh – Epilogue – The postscript to the above. What happened later that night plus some thoughts on the story.

My Alabaster Doll – Another piece of erotic poetry, this time regarding the flogging of Leigh’s beautifully displayed breasts.

One last thing, a confession if you will. I’m actually typing this Friday evening. Oh, I didn’t lie about getting more coffee. I am. Just not as I prepare to finalize this so I can sleep in with my doll.

Am I sorry to have possibly told a creative truth earlier?

Nope…

– Scot

A Peek Back 8-11

The keyhole this week, at time, felt more like an impromptu soap box, or even a pulpit.

Please don’t think of that opening sentence as my intentional attempts to be preachy. I’ve made no secret that I am a complete neophyte at all of this. Learning on the hand job, if you will. My musings are just that – my two pennies on whatever is on my mind. And its worth that much as well.

I very often plan various post such as stories, but often my random musings are either manifestations of ideas that have been simmering for a while are and ready for public consumption or, more often, something that just occurs to me.

The latter was the case this week. And the results as far as reactions, comments and page views were not just surprising but, in cases, humbling beyond my means to convey. When, in essence, complete strangers (well, y’all have to admit we are all strange!) take something you wrote and not just to heart but to their spouse…

…that’s humbling. Seriously. I don’t even know where to start with the magnitude, significance and overall “Really?” of that.

Serious shit for so early on a weekend, huh?

The blog had its second best week for views. July doubled June’s visits, which were two times as many as May. Closing in on 500 Peekers™. Twitter has exploded again (we really do have a lot of fun just bullshitting there). I don’t shamelessly shill for any type of Following of any sort anywhere. So these numbers reflect perverts, er, people who are curious, who want to peek through the keyhole and, if they like what read, share with others. Leigh and I thank all of you for the love, support and general debauchery you share.

And only one cup of coffee so far!

If you’re a first time Peeker™ Leigh and I welcome you to your initial peek through the keyhole. I strongly encourage you to view all of the established Pages, which can be viewed by selecting any of the tabs at the top of this page.

The Archives are an inclusive, running version of every post of note on this blog. If you have not read any or all of the stories, random musings, poetry, etc linked from The Archives by all means please grab a seat, perhaps some java, sit back and enjoy.

In that I want to go get more java, here is this week’s Peek Back:

The Unsafe Word – I very rarely beg. It’s Leigh that begs. That said, please I beg of you read this if you or someone you know is thinking about meeting a Dominant for the first time.

Interview With A Submission Vampire Vol.1 No.11 – Peeker™ extarodinaire Jodie Griffin wanted to know if I had limits and have safe worded. I kinda went off on a tangent while answering her question.

Coffee Kickstart My Blog – My weekly way too early on a Monday ramblings while trying to wake up. This past week I mused for over 1200 words! Yeah coffee!

Breaking Leigh Act X – The hairbrush finally comes out. Will Leigh finally cry from just spanking?

The Butterfly Chains – The newest story on the blog. If spread eagle chain bondage is your kink, you may want to read this.

An Open Letter To The Frustrated Submissive Wife’s Husband – My humble thoughts for a wife’s Mr. she wishes would become Sir as well. The response to this has been amazing.

Butterflies Flight Of  Fantasy – An ePaper thought enough of The Butterfly Chains to Feature it!

I Lost My Interview Cherry And With Coffee! – I was asked by the vivacious Bell of DD & D/s, an amazing spanking and DD & D/s blog, to share some things about myself and kink…over coffee! My first blog interview!

Done. Publish. Second cup of coffee. Ahhhhhhh…

– Scot

I Lost My Interview Cherry And With Coffee!

My blog interview cherry has been popped.

The vivacious Bella of DD & D/s, one of my Most Awesomest Blogs, chose me for their inaugural edition of Coffee And Kink! So not only was Bella my first, but I hers.

What?

Anyway, Bella is a fellow Javahead, spanking enthusiast, a total kinkster as well as the author of one of the best D/s and DD blogs around. Her spanking stories and resources are amazing. So when she asked me if I would be open to answering some questions about myself and kink I was extremely humbled and honored.

So grab a mug of coffee, get comfy and check out what I had to say. And thank you once again Bella!

– Scot

Interview With A Submission Vampire Vol.1 No.11

Welcome to the Spinal Tap edition of IWASV™. We’ve gone to eleven.

If that first sentence has you scratching you head, I feel for you. You probably also think Stonehenge is more than a foot tall.

It’s amazing to sit here not even three months into the journey and think back on it all. When I approached Leigh that fateful May evening with the idea, I had no fucking idea that it would become what it has, what it is, and what the cards the Fates hold for our future may be.

Our lives have changed, and all for the better. We’re having torrid affairs with each other’s spouse. Communication flows, hands hold, orgasms multiply, eyes flirt, shit gets done, asses (well, her ass) get blistered. Its been a second courtship. And all because of what has transpired outside the bedroom as a result of what it takes to perspire behind its closed door safely, sanely and consensually.

A heartfelt thanks to the kinky, perverted minions that make up Peeker™ Nation.

This week’s question is courtesy of Peeker™ and naughty romance author Jodie Griffin. She is one of the most avid of my Twitter Followers. If you are not Following along there, please consider it. I’m much more laid back in 140 character bites. Anyway, Jodie wanted to know:

“Leigh has limits. Do you? And have you ever safe-worded out of / stopped a scene because you thought Leigh was too far gone to make that decision herself?”

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Wow, what a great question(s) Jodie! Have to put on my TDND™ thinking cap for this. Its cool, even has a lil’ propeller on top.

I do have limits. And yes, I use the same safe words Leigh does. Have I used them? No. But I have them.

What? A Dominant with safe words? What the fuck is that? Why would a Dominant have to safe word out of a scene? Plenty of reasons.

First, and I have made no secret of how I feel about this, a Dominant who does not believe in or allow safe words is nothing more than a bully. Period. They are deciding what is and is not a limit for their submissive. That’s not a D/s dynamic, that is not SSC.

It’s not a power exchange, but rather a power theft. And like most bullies, they are afraid. Afraid of one fucking, little word, a word that very often never gets used, if ever. Just its existence is threatening. Now I am not condoning the use of safe words as a means to “ride the breaks” in a scene. Constant use of Yellow is not going to benefit either party in the long run, plus it is in essence Topping from the bottom. But allowing the Dominant to decide what is and is not enough is ridiculous. That  is why you have the fucking safe word, and not for the obvious reason you may think.

Of course there is the opportunity for abuse, but I would be more concerned about the opposite in not pushing the submissive far enough. Deciding for them when they have had enough? What if they wanted, could handle and expected a lot more, and you as the non-safe word using Dominant stopped short?

Of course you communicate, but really? Asking them mid scene if they want to continue is no fucking different from them saying Yellow. As a matter of fact, that is exactly what that is – Dominant Yellow. That is why you have the safe word. This way you can just go, do, be, feel, react, flow, exchange, dominate, submit and live in the moment know that one little word means “I need to talk with you.”

I just don’t get it. But I have always preached TETO (To Each There Own).

The thought of safe wording out during Torn did cross my mind. But I can now thank the actual fucking existence of safe words for being the reason I did not. Leigh did not safe word. I knew she had it and she had ample opportunity to say it hundreds of times. She did not, although she did beg me to stop. Was she lying right then, spewing false emotions, not being honest?

Fuck. No. She was ragged, in my view basically being raped.

I pushed her to her limits, but more so pushed myself beyond what mine were at that time in our D/s dynamic. As a result we both shared an amazing intense experience that has made me a much better Sir to her. It allowed her to live the scene to its fullest, complete with verbal release matching her physical and emotional distress.

Aside from the obvious of having my soul forged hotter and harder in the furnace of the moment, we really communicated afterward. Two entire evenings were devoted to just talking about what had transpired from my vantage point. And now we both have a better understanding of what to expect and demand from each other. I know what she can take and give, she knows that I will take it and give it back in spades. We exchange as mutual partners, equals in the dynamic, each respecting what each other brings. She respects my authority and demands, I respect her hard limits…and her safe word.

As far as a checklist of what I would consider my hard limits, I could easily copy and paste any of the multitude of such lists easily found online. But my answering 200 questions (yes, 200 potential hard limits) with one of ten different answers….well, I don’t view our D/s dynamic as a SAT test style checklist. I know there are certain perversions and fetishes that neither of us have any fucking interest in exploring at all. TETO.

And as for those that may be “Curious” (like her recent initial foray into public exhibitionism and proclivity), well I guess you will have to wait and see how the next nine months unfold to read all about it.

– Scot

A Peek Back 8-4

Is whupped an acceptable term?

I was that in spades last night. Even hearts. Work whupped me. How much so? It was a chore to sit down, which I hadn’t done all day. The floor beckoned like a siren to the rocks. Well they were actually pillows from the couch.

What, you’ve never jumped from one couch to another to avoid the lava flow river below?

Anyway, I had planned to write Act X of Breaking Leigh, the one where depending on my word count  (I try to keep posts to just over 1000 words) it was very likely the tears might finally flow. But, alas, my brain was so much overcooked oatmeal that I chose not to write.

I will never just vomit words to create content, be a slave to page views, etc., nor I am interested in accumulating scores of Peekers™ for the sake of scores of Peekers™.  If people wish to peek through the keyhole, they are welcome. If their own social networking efforts appeal to me, I will Follow back.

Coffee….more….coffee. Ahhhhhh…

If you’re a neophyte Peeker™ Leigh and I welcome you to your initial peeks through the keyhole. I strongly encourage you to view all of the established Pages, which can be viewed by selecting any of the tabs at the top of this page.

The Archives are an inclusive, running version of every post of note on this blog. If you have not read any or all of the stories, random musings, poetry, etc linked from The Archives by all means please grab a seat, perhaps some coffee (we’re big on coffee), sit back and enjoy.

So hoping I stay awake long enough to Publish this, here is this week’s Peek Back:

Interview With A Submission Vampire Vol.1 No.10 – Avid Peeker™ Kayla Lords wanted to know if we employed punishment in our D/s relationship. Now she knows the answer and why.

Monday Coffee Kickstart – Random musings on random topics with a barely functioning Dominant in need of a caffeine fix.

We’re Pink Leather Unicorn Awesome! Twice! – The most unique blog award image yet, more Scot  trivia (sigh) and a list of fucking awesome blogs you need to check out.

What Subspace Feels Like – The Fates decided we should hear this song. It shook us, as well as others from all the Comments.

I Inspired A Coffee Nooner – An off the cuff comment to romance author Miya Kressin on Twitter inspired her to write some java smut! You will never drink a latte the same every again, trust me.

Others Agree Subspace Feels Like That – Our .02 on the aforementioned song and subsequent post gets a feature mention in an ePaper!

Chain Of Rules Act IV – This latest act of the Chain Of Rules story focuses on two of Leigh’s most magnificent attributes not called eyes.

Seek And Go Hyde Act III – How hot is this? I needed to change my shirt after writing it. The Comments agree – probably the most scalding Act I’ve written thus far. Whew!

Just Cry – A very personal and special erotic poem for my doll, trying to capture a very personal and special moment.

I think I have the energy to click Publish. Maybe another cup of coffee will ensure you all read this today.

– Scot

Interview With A Submission Vampire Vol.1 No.10

Another Selfish Sunday, another Interview at 60MPH.

Leigh’s insistence on driving is a double edged sword of sorts. On one side of the blade there is the obvious affront to my driving skills and rugged machismo. As mentioned previously, I am not the household’s all-time record holder in moving violations (heh).

But then I turn the blade over and there is being, in effect, chauffeured by a vivacious, large breasted, baby blue eyed redhead. Don’t think that I don’t cop gratuitous feels or looks. And I also get to just be, relax, zone out. Leigh has commented on the snoring beside her on more than one occasion.

And I get to read, which I adore. Unlike a lot of people I don’t get car sick when skimming pages over the speed limit. And eat. And drink.

And why the fuck am I complaining? Exactly what is wrong with this picture?

Why, nothing. Drive on Leigh, drive on. I have perverts to interact with. And if I chance across an unsecured WiFi hot spot even update the blog on the fly…literally.

Which brings us to, as not to upset any of the local law enforcement and add to Leigh’s house record, a just over the speed limit installment of IWASV™, our tenth one! Has it really been ten weeks of TDND™ already? Damn!

This week’s question is courtesy of avid Peeker™ Kayla Lords. Her comments are always insightful, raw in honesty, usually dripping with heat and overall good mojo. She also gives great blog. Check her out.

Kayla wanted to know:

“In your posts, you talk about the sensuous, sexual side of your TDND relationship.  I don’t remember a post about discipline/punishment for Leigh when she does something wrong.  Is that not a part of the dynamic of your relationship?  Do you simply choose to keep that part of your relationship private?  Or I have gone blind, and you’ve talked about it plenty, but I didn’t see it?  If you don’t mind sharing, how does punishment and discipline work in your D/s relationship?”

First, thank you for the question Kayla. We love Peekers™ who want more of an eyeful.

Leigh did touch on this very issue when she shared her thoughts and views via answering the spanking meme, specifically questions #4, 11, 17, 21, 38, 42 and 46. But to expound on this, no we do not use spanking as a form of actual punishment. Although, to be fair, I did interject it into the Breaking Leigh scene as an unplanned reason as to why she was to be spanked to tears.

That, in hindsight (really bad spanking joke) was likely more for me to establish a persona opposite her naughty school girl. So it may be fair to say that in the future when we do role play, we may very well use pseudo punishment as an underlying theme to give us a common delineator between characters.

But, as Leigh so distinctly put it in the meme, she enjoys “spanking for the sake of spanking.” And she also loathes, and I mean bristles, at the thought of introducing actual punishment in any way, shape or form. This is one area of D/s that she has absolutely zero interest in exploring. Outside the bedroom we are we. She is my wife, my best friend, my equal partner in the journey of life. She does not take well to being told what to do, which may explain why behind a closed bedroom door she embraces it.

I’ve referenced this a few times in previous musings about her, that there are dark aspects to Leigh she has a love-hate relationship with. As in she hates to admit that she loves being forced to be such a slut, to do and have done to/with/in/on her all types of perversions. Be it to herself due to situation, or out loud and verbally to me as a result of certain persuasive techniques, she can use D/s as a conduit to remove herself from the equation. She is not the one doing these filthy acts, but rather she has no choice but to do them.

Personally, I would rather feed off this internal dilemma of carnal mind fuck than have her a wantonly open and enthusiastically uninhibited slut offering the same. Its so much more delicious to force her to confront her own filthy kink than to have her just give it away to me. Its not the kill, but the thrill of the chase.

So, indirectly, there are trace elements of humiliation and punishment. But those are just for us to enjoy. I have no desire to subject her to any similar dilemmas outside our dynamic, not that she would allow me to anyway. Plus, she’s far too bright a diamond to dull that way.

For us the D/s dynamic works just fine without being caged within the framework of a formalized agreement, contract and any subsequent penalties for violating one. She has four simple rules for when the bedroom door closes, and I respect any and all her hard limits. That is not to say  I do not push her on some of them. I’d be a sad excuse of a Sir to not try to help her venture further inside herself than she may admit she is capable of going.

I’m not passing judgment on those who find this exhilarating or even a fetish. I can totally see the appeal of it, and if the looming threat of punishment works for them by all means more power exchange to them. My only thoughts on such arrangements is that often the submissive will be a brat on purpose to be disciplined, punished, etc. I’m not down with that at all. Its classic Topping from the bottom “Ooooh, I was a bad, bad girl. I’m going to get punished!” on purpose shit.

That’s not being honest. That’s an end to a means (another bad spanking joke) with an agenda. The purpose is willful intent to achieve a desired result – being disciplined for “bad behavior”. Its basically role play, which is fine. Just don’t call it structured or formal punishment. It is what it is – role playing, not D/s punishment.

Just yesterday Leigh texted me and said “I think I need a good spanking. So I can just let go for a while.” You will all be reading about the beauty of that evening soon, if I can adequately find the words to properly paint such a special moment with the portrait it deserves.

No punishment. No discipline. I was in control, she was subservient to my wishes. Yet we worked together, hand on ass, to get both of us to a beautiful moment in time. And not one iota of her being a bad girl deserving an hour on my lap while her collar was chained to the wall.

She was an angel over my knee. And angels should not be punished. They should be celebrated, even one spank at a time.

Just my two cents, which is about all its worth.

– Scot