We are humbled beyond words to receive email from all of you. It really means a lot to us. The fact that you think our kinky .02 is question worthy is truly amazing. We are, by no stretch of any imagination, well versed in any aspect of WIITWD. We are learning, step by step, along the way. Side by side, hand in cuff, as I like to say.
So when we are asked something we try our best to be as honest as we can, but also respect all those for whom BDSM is literally a way of life and have devoted decades of their lives to learning, practicing, teaching and sharing it. That is not to say we blindly agree with all we read. A lot of it are pearls of wisdom, some of it the week old oyster carcass it came from. Experience does not always equate to knowledge. If it smells rotten…
The overwhelming #1 topic we either receive inquires on or seem to chance upon is the following scenario:
The woman in a long-time, established, often married relationship wants her guy to become her Sir, and he either wants no part of it, is extremely confused, reluctant and often repulsed. What to do?
I have no doubts that a certain best-selling book that those in the lifestyle are repulsed by in its lack of reality is a player in this. I also have little doubt that, as a result, there are going to be a lot of either extremely frustrated wives or, worse, women who have very bad BDSM experiences.
In the little circle of perverts that are the collected minions we call Peekers™ are a number of married couples who have embraced D/s and BDSM into aspects of their relationships. To a letter (or maybe four letters) the results have been nothing short of incredible, if not borderline miraculous, on how what transpires when Mr. and Mrs. become Mister and miss regenerates their union.
Communication flows. Interest is reborn. Passion rekindles, no, infernos. They flirt. Talk. Laugh. Hold hands again. Other aspects of their lives improve exponentially. Love grows stronger. Often they become healthier via diet and exercise. And all because they trust one another enough to embrace D/s in many forms, BDSM typically the main manifestation.
I’m not aware of other blogs where the Dominant married partner is both male and the primary blogger. Perhaps that is what makes TDND™ so unique to many of you. Or you could just like reading naughty stories.
So I offer to you, yes you Frustrated Submissive Wife, the following. This is an actual email Leigh and I received. With the submitter’s (heh) permission I am sharing it and my/our reply with you. Her identity is not important, and I promised 100% anonymity. Hopefully you may find a pearl in its words to start your own necklace (you KNEW I had to say something like that).
I’m asking this personally. I would like your and/or Leigh’s feedback. I’m married. I’m talking to my husband about him being in control in the bedroom. I’m having a difficult time getting him to open up and be specific about his wants. He just says that he loves me and will do anything I want. I see that as me still being in control. What else can I do?