No, it’s not what you think.
I Follow a number of blogs. Many of them are like ours in that their core theme is either BDSM and/or D/s. For those of you I Follow who don’t have such themed musings, well I just think you’re fucking interesting and enjoy reading what’s on your mind, why you think coffee baristas are cult figures and the sort.
It seems that, unless I’m just chancing into a significantly disproportionate number of them, most if not all of the non-writing/author erotic blogs are written by submissives. And not just submissives, but new submissives. Like in the first weeks or months of kinky life newborn submissives. No idea if a certain, much maligned book series has anything to do with this. I doubt it.
Anyway, as I was driving into town for lunch and some library time the other day the sheer volume of these infant submissive blogs had me thinking. First, I commend them for embracing and exploring an aspect of their sexuality that many will go to the dirt nap never knowing. It is not easy to submit. And I mean “submit”. To really let go of one’s self and find total freedom through absolute surrender. It borders on Zen, meditation, devout religion.
The blogs are rife with protocol, ritual, hierarchy, often very eloquently described and expounded on. Manners abound, roles defined, punishments exquisitely celebrated.
For many of them it is an attempt at a lifestyle. It is German opera 24/7/365 for them. That’s fucking commendable, as I mentioned previously. If they can find inner peace and happiness through the total servitude of an Other, more power to them to exchange.
Invariably there will be a declaration of rules, or a protocol, sometimes even the terms of a contract. Those are also filled with clear, concise definitions of what is and is not acceptable, expected, demanded of the submissive from their Other. They’re often followed by beautifully crafted posts by the submissive to their Other professing their total submission, how they crave it, the lengths to which they will go to serve them unconditionally. Again, its wonderful to see such committment. It does not matter how sick or twisted others may view it, it’s a total commitment to a cause or belief. I applaud them for it. It’s a place I personally have no desire to live, and I know for damn sure Leigh would not just bristle but laugh uncontrollably if I suggested this to her for us.
A final observation is, almost always, the total and complete absence of their Other in any manner other than mention by the submissive. I have my views on this, but that is for another time.
But as I drove I wondered if, in their professed zeal and passion to be Another’s whim and property, they would allow their submission to be Dominated?
Confused? Allow me to explain.
Submissives in a relationship like this will do, within pre-determined hard limits and the content of their verbal, oral or written contract, anything to please their Other.
They crave discipline. Often times desire humiliation. Definitely enjoy being reprimanded for “bratty” or unsubmissive behavior. The ritual of presentation and protocol is practically a cult of two, ruled by one.
We’ll imagine that I am a Dominant in such a relationship (Leigh just spewed coffee somewhere I bet)
So submissive of mine, answer me the following:
If I, as a Dominant in the dynamic, directed you to not be so submissive all the time, would you?
In other words, would you allow your submission to be Dominated by your Dominant?
If I told you it would please me if you weren’t always my slave, wouldn’t honoring my wish, in fact, be doing exactly as I want?
It’s like the joke where a sultry, sexy, provocatively dressed woman saunters up to a man in a bar and coos in his ear “I’ll do anything…anything…you want for $500.” To which the man puts his beer down, looks her in the eye and says “Paint my fucking house.”
Would you submit your submission for Domination?
In your contract you stated your unconditional service to me. That you would do your best to please me. That as long as hard limits weren’t broken you were mine to do with as I pleased for my pleasure.
What if that included painting my house, if you will? Not literally, but figuratively. If I commanded you to honor your contract by not submitting all of you, what would you do?
I imagine a number of you in D/s relationships reading this might be seething right now. Not my intent, honestly. It’s just how my mind, which you all should know by now to a dark, twisted theater of the imagination, works.
Is it a damned if I do, damned if I don’t scenario? Likely. But it would please me to see you twist, suffer, agonize. You love to be pushed to your limits…and beyond. You know this. You crave this. You want this.
But not like this, right? Wouldn’t that make you unsubmissive to me?
Just something to think about when you drive into town.